The Fear of failing in business, human design and the business start-up.
For a long time I didn’t do things in my business. The money wasn’t coming in. People weren’t coming to me in the way I needed to pay the bills and feed by kids. I had convinced myself I was the worlds best kept secret and people would find me through word of mouth.
I did get some clients this way but… only dribs and drabs. Nothing that was going to retire my husband next week. (insert massive eyeroll).
I kept hearing from business coaches to do this work.
And “if I took my business serious” I would “crack on with it”.
That I too could make “6 figures in a week” if i could apply myself.
No calls to action on my posts.
No follow ups and no post sales posts telling people what I do, and how to book.
More recently, I was chatting with my friend who is a projector and she told me the following (on only the way an univited projector can).
That I was holding myself back. Even through I am a 6/2 and on the roof, there are other generators (on the roof) like me doing AMAZING things. So why wasn’t I?
So I set out on a mission to work out what was taking the wind from my sails and stopping me from reaching clients.
First stop was to undertake my own quantum alignment coaching.
I continuously work on my own personal development. I work with another quantum alignment practitioner to make sure I can serve my clients in the best possible way. I have to work on my own stuff!!! All good coaches too!
In my session with my buddy, we worked out where my block was. We decided to work on fear.
In human design fear resides in the spleen. The spleen centre holds the energy for fear, and also immunity and time. The spleen can give you a strong gut feeling to run if you are up against an animal or beast. But sometimes, we can miss-interpret the energy. We can believe there is something to be afraid of… when there isn’t.
Fear gates of the spleen in human design
There are 7 fear gates you can see them highlighted on the spleen (left brown triangle on the bodygraph below).
Gate 48 is the fear or inadequacy
Gate 57 is the fear of the future
Gate 44 is the fear of the past
Gate 50 is the fear of responsibility
Gate 32 is the fear of failure
Gate 28 is the fear of death
Gate 18 is the fear of authority
If you don’t have your human design chart and want a copy, you can request one here.
What I find super interesting is that I have 6 of these gates active. So I should feel the fear a hell of a lot. I also have a wide open emotional solar plexus. I can feel the emotions of other people that they have when they experience fear.
Yet, here is the conundrum. I never felt afraid to do things in my business. I always felt like I was facing my inadequacy by doing more qualification (hello open G centre). I never felt afraid of the future because I always had a plan. But I never stuck to it. And that fed into my fear of failing again. That things would turn out like they always did .. not working. Not having clients to serve. Not earning me money!
So, what I was doing was masking my fears by keeping busy. By not sitting with them. By not feeling them and honoring them. By not feeling them. They were like my dirty little secrete.
But boy did that all come out in my session. Everyone of my fears came out to say hello in the most random ways (detail for another day!!)
I learned in about 30 minutes that I am afraid of being responsible for my family and thier health. That not being able to care for them, feed them and nurture them is my core fear. And I have been trying to keep busy, rather than own that fear.
I learned that I carry much of this food insecurity from my grandmothers and my mother. Not because they weren’t good with food or money.. (really they were amazing). What I found was that I seen them trying to manage budgets and working miracles from pots of food. I seen and felt there worry over feeding their families from the past. What I missed was that they were clever, resourceful women like me, who had learned to be creative. Creative with money and cooking so that everyone had enough food, clothes and was cared for.
I also learned that my fear of failing is partly to do with taking action too soon. That I have not been following my strategy to wait to respond to things before I have created marketing. Or made sales posts on social media when it wasn’t the correct time for me. When you use your strategy and follow your inner authority, there is so much clarity around when that time is!
I’m here to create resources for my tribe and be a role model – when the timing is right. That is part of my purpose – bur first I have to empower myself, be courageous and own my fears!!!
I guess that’s why I love quantum alignment so much. I get to flip my personal stories, and the stories of the people I work with. So they can get out of their own way and start fully living their life purpose
Want to try quantum alignment coaching but not ready to book into a full course?
What I have found is my clients do so much better working through the 9 resiliency keys over a period of 3 months. That way we can dive deep into the issues and help build session by session on your narrative switch.